For most people, April 15th is memorable because they rush to get their taxes in the mail.  For us, April 15th is D-Day (Diagnosis Day).  One year ago today will forever be engraved in our minds.  “We found the main tumor”, the oncologist told us after two full days of testing and thus began our journey into the world of childhood cancer.  As the famous saying goes, “It was the best of times and it was the worst of times.”  The best of times in that we enjoyed another 9 ½ months with our precious, smart, funny, inquisitive, very brave, and beautiful son.  The best of times in that, for the first 6 months of treatment, an outsider would barely have known that Emmett was enduring chemotherapy as his side effects were minimal and he felt good and looked awesome.  The best of times in that we suddenly looked at life differently – hopefully a little more like how God looks at our lives.  Children are the most precious of all, people are more important than things, and faith in Jesus Christ is the only real hope that offers peace and joy.  The best of times in that we encountered people upon people that already have figured out that giving and serving is the greatest privilege of all.  Emmett’s oncologists, the entire staff at Sacred Heart Children’s Peds Oncology Unit and Pediatric Surgery Center, the Candlelighter’s Organization, Jackson’s Pay it Forward, NW Cancer Support, other parents of cancer kids, our family and friends, praying communities, and total strangers who offer support and prayers.  The support just kept coming and coming and it still is. 

It was also the worst of times in watching our innocent son endure surgery, treatment, and in the final months, pain and more pain.  The worst of times in not being able to explain to him the whys and hows of it all, and trying to understand where it hurt and how to help him.  The worst of times in not knowing if tomorrow would come for our child and then all too quickly, it didn’t.  The worst of times in feeling completely helpless as a parent knowing that what we were doing wasn’t enough but not knowing what else to do.  And then, the ultimate best/worst of all: Releasing our son to Jesus to experience the best beyond our dreams yet the worst of continuing on with life without him. 

                As the haze and fog begins to diminish in our grief, a few things are becoming life changing for us.  God is moving us, even now, to recognize a useless life of serving self and his desire for us to serve others.  We do not know how or what that entails, but we know we look for and will be obedient to opportunities that God puts in front of us.  Additionally, we have received a wake up call that our BIGGEST responsibility as parents is to model, instruct, and encourage our children in their relationship with Jesus Christ.  Having one child in heaven puts that priority in perspective in a huge way. 

                As we get closer to the holiest week of the year, we are completely humbled again at the magnitude of the gift that God gave humankind.  The pain, the suffering, the obedience of His son – all given as a gift so that when the sins of the world take earthly life away, eternal life steps in and God’s children live forever in beauty, joy, and in the presence of Him. 

                Our prayers at this time include thankfulness for everyone of you that have helped us this past year – whether it has been in prayer, a meal, a hug, a donation, a flower, or a kind word – all created a support system that kept us going and moving.  We cannot thank my Mom enough for living next to us for over six months and being the extra set of loving hands that helped us to be able to put Emmett’s needs, wants, and comfort absolutely first every day.  Comfort is huge for cancer kids – whether it’s the vomiting, the diarrhea, pain from the cancer itself, or a host of other side effects from some of the most cruel drugs on the planet, keeping them comfortable is a full time job.  Every day we pray for the thousands still fighting the fight and hope that in the amazing amount of knowledge and science that exists, a way will be found not only to cure cancer, but cure it in a gentle way.  The thing about children and cancer is that they don’t get a choice whether or not to go through the treatment. Adults can walk away and choose alternative routes or no treatment at all – but not children.  Whatever we ask of them, they accept – regardless of the suffering.  The bottom line is that it will never be fair or just.  In this experience, we have caught a glimpse of what God must have felt in asking His Son to carry the sins of the world while hanging on a cross.  Most definitely not deserved – yet He accepted it because He trusted his Father.

For each of you, we pray that God’s many gifts, including His Son, are present in your life.  We treasure each of you and cannot possibly repay all the ways we been blessed.  Please know that although our family is grieving and missing Emmett more than words can say, we are doing well thanks to the peace that comes from above.

Our love to you all,

Brian, Maren, Andrew, Maddie & Luke

For the Snyders Family:

My First Day in Heaven
　
Momma and Daddy, I wanted you to know
That today I walked across a rainbow.

Into a beautiful land filled with light.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen something so bright.

At first it was hard to open my eyes
But when I did. I got a big surprise!

Grandma and Grandpa were standing in front of me
Along with many others, as far as I could see.

Grandpa B, who got down on one knee,
Smiled and said, “Emmie, come to me!”

I ran into his arms and gave him a kiss.
Grandma and Grandpa, I surely did miss.

Grandpa lifted me up and sat me on his knee.
He said, “This is the beginning of a new journey.

This place is called Heaven, and it is your new home.
A brand new place to explore and roam.

The clouds are lined with silver and the streets are made of gold.
There’s even a heavenly choir, for those who are young and old.

This place is of peace and beauty, where God’s love fills the air.
This is His home, and now yours too. It’s for all of us to share.

We are all His children and we have all returned home.
Never again will we ever be alone.

Your earthly life is now complete.
It is now time to sit at Jesus’ feet.”

Then Grandpa turned to his right.
There was Jesus in his heavenly light!

He came down gracefully.
And simply asked, “Do you remember me?”

I smiled, touched my heart, and raised my arms up high.
He scooped me up and lifted me into the sky.

I said, “You are Jesus! You are my family too!
Momma and Daddy taught me all about you!

You are my brother who did a lot for me.
Because of you, we can be a forever family!
　
He said, “I did it because of my love for you and so many others:
Brothers, sisters, fathers, and mothers.
　
Every spirit is dear to me. Each a part of my family.
We will dwell together and live in peace for all eternity.”

Then he put me back down onto the ground and patted me on the head.
He said, “Go now my child and explore your new home and later, there is more to be said.”

I turned to Him and asked, “What about Momma and Daddy, and my sisters and brothers? When will they be here?” Jesus, kneeled down, looked me in the eyes and said, “Don’t you worry my dear.

Your Momma, Daddy, brothers, and sisters are already on their way.
An entire life on Earth is equal to only one heavenly day.

In just a blink of an eye, you will all be reunited to spend an eternity
Here in my presence and together in love; warm, happy, and free."
　
-Natalie Langford
　
　
　
　
　
　

To Emmett, from Katie Langford, 7

Isaiah 40:31- "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Dear Family and Friends,

We wanted to both thank everyone for the tremendous amount of prayer and support that you have provided since Emmett went to heaven as well as let you know how our family is doing.  There is just no easy way to describe the past 10 days other than it is the most painful and heartbreaking experience for any parent to go through.  The ache is so deep that it is crippling but somehow, God provides the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  We are so thankful for our Andrew, Maddie and Luke that already have the ability to smile and laugh amidst their grief.  Grief is a unique emotion - one minute you think you're strong and the next, a glimpse of a memory leaves you on your knees. 

Tomorrow will be a test as Brian and I return to work.  I haven't been at the office much since Emmie was born, doing most of my job from home, so it will be a difficult transition and reminder of life without him.  Our nurse pracititioner has carried our full burden at the office since Emmett's death (thanks Jen!) so Brian will re-engage at full speed ahead - ready or not. 

I have to tell you of God's way of sending someone straight into my path to help me deal with losing Emmett.  We know beyond the shadow of a doubt that Em is in the presence of Jesus and very happy.  But beyond the "streets of gold" and "gates of pearls", I was having a hard time visualizing what my baby was experiencing in heaven.  A trip to the local Christian book store, "Sower" in Coeur d Alene yielded the purchase of a couple of books on Heaven.  At the checkout, the lady (thank you whoever you were) commented on another book that I might find helpful.  Even though they were out of stock of it, she pulled a copy off the Reserve Rack (being held for someone else) and gave it me - no charge.  The book:  Heaven is for Real - A Little Boys Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back.  If you haven't already read it - you need to.  There were a handful of items in the book that we believe spoke directly to us.  Like that the little boy asked the angels to sing "We will, We will Rock You," (they said no) but that was one of Emmett's all time favorite songs.  Or that the only earthly drawing of Jesus that the little boy said was "right" was that of Akiane Kramarik (a young girl who has also seen heaven) - lives just a few miles from us.  We now have a beautiful picture of what our Emmie is doing - singing, playing with our other loved ones who are already in heaven, flying (with his wings), enjoying the vivid colors, trees, and animals that God has designed heaven with.  THE most comforting words of little Colton were his insistent message that, "Jesus REALLY REALLY loves the children."  How can that not be comforting?

Let me tell you, when you lose a child - life on earth looks totally different.  It is now a finite period until you get to be reunited with your child.  Although we would like that to go by very quickly, we know that we must be faithful in continuing to carry out God's plan for our lives.  The biggest message in Emmett's death to us comes from Matthew 18:3, "And He said, 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."   Humility is something we can work on every day of our lives no matter the season.    The longing to see Em's beautiful smile again will be a constant reminder.

We ask for continued prayers for our family as the days ahead will be filled with dark moments and longing to hold Emmett again.  Thank you, one more time, for standing beside us, before us, and behind us in prayer through this journey.

Love,
Maren, Brian, Andrew, Maddie and Luke

The pain of losing our little Emmett has been indescribable
and the plans and decisions that follow have not come without anguish.

Since so many have called, emailed, etc. we wanted you to know the schedule for his services.  The date is on Monday, January 31, 2011 at 11:00 at the Lake City Community Church, 6000 N. Ramsey Rd., Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.  The service to glorify God for the gift of Emmett's life will be for family and friends.  The viewing and internment will be private. 

The prayers sent to our loving and merciful God have been immeasurable for our little guy.  Thanks to each and every one of you for those prayers and also the acts of kindness shown in so many ways.  You have all been such a blessing to the Snyders family over the past 9 months.  May our LORD bless each of you. 

Clinging to the cleft of the ROCK.......Grandma