For most people, April 15th is memorable because they rush to get their taxes in the mail.  For us, April 15th is D-Day (Diagnosis Day).  One year ago today will forever be engraved in our minds.  “We found the main tumor”, the oncologist told us after two full days of testing and thus began our journey into the world of childhood cancer.  As the famous saying goes, “It was the best of times and it was the worst of times.”  The best of times in that we enjoyed another 9 ½ months with our precious, smart, funny, inquisitive, very brave, and beautiful son.  The best of times in that, for the first 6 months of treatment, an outsider would barely have known that Emmett was enduring chemotherapy as his side effects were minimal and he felt good and looked awesome.  The best of times in that we suddenly looked at life differently – hopefully a little more like how God looks at our lives.  Children are the most precious of all, people are more important than things, and faith in Jesus Christ is the only real hope that offers peace and joy.  The best of times in that we encountered people upon people that already have figured out that giving and serving is the greatest privilege of all.  Emmett’s oncologists, the entire staff at Sacred Heart Children’s Peds Oncology Unit and Pediatric Surgery Center, the Candlelighter’s Organization, Jackson’s Pay it Forward, NW Cancer Support, other parents of cancer kids, our family and friends, praying communities, and total strangers who offer support and prayers.  The support just kept coming and coming and it still is. 

It was also the worst of times in watching our innocent son endure surgery, treatment, and in the final months, pain and more pain.  The worst of times in not being able to explain to him the whys and hows of it all, and trying to understand where it hurt and how to help him.  The worst of times in not knowing if tomorrow would come for our child and then all too quickly, it didn’t.  The worst of times in feeling completely helpless as a parent knowing that what we were doing wasn’t enough but not knowing what else to do.  And then, the ultimate best/worst of all: Releasing our son to Jesus to experience the best beyond our dreams yet the worst of continuing on with life without him. 

                As the haze and fog begins to diminish in our grief, a few things are becoming life changing for us.  God is moving us, even now, to recognize a useless life of serving self and his desire for us to serve others.  We do not know how or what that entails, but we know we look for and will be obedient to opportunities that God puts in front of us.  Additionally, we have received a wake up call that our BIGGEST responsibility as parents is to model, instruct, and encourage our children in their relationship with Jesus Christ.  Having one child in heaven puts that priority in perspective in a huge way. 

                As we get closer to the holiest week of the year, we are completely humbled again at the magnitude of the gift that God gave humankind.  The pain, the suffering, the obedience of His son – all given as a gift so that when the sins of the world take earthly life away, eternal life steps in and God’s children live forever in beauty, joy, and in the presence of Him. 

                Our prayers at this time include thankfulness for everyone of you that have helped us this past year – whether it has been in prayer, a meal, a hug, a donation, a flower, or a kind word – all created a support system that kept us going and moving.  We cannot thank my Mom enough for living next to us for over six months and being the extra set of loving hands that helped us to be able to put Emmett’s needs, wants, and comfort absolutely first every day.  Comfort is huge for cancer kids – whether it’s the vomiting, the diarrhea, pain from the cancer itself, or a host of other side effects from some of the most cruel drugs on the planet, keeping them comfortable is a full time job.  Every day we pray for the thousands still fighting the fight and hope that in the amazing amount of knowledge and science that exists, a way will be found not only to cure cancer, but cure it in a gentle way.  The thing about children and cancer is that they don’t get a choice whether or not to go through the treatment. Adults can walk away and choose alternative routes or no treatment at all – but not children.  Whatever we ask of them, they accept – regardless of the suffering.  The bottom line is that it will never be fair or just.  In this experience, we have caught a glimpse of what God must have felt in asking His Son to carry the sins of the world while hanging on a cross.  Most definitely not deserved – yet He accepted it because He trusted his Father.

For each of you, we pray that God’s many gifts, including His Son, are present in your life.  We treasure each of you and cannot possibly repay all the ways we been blessed.  Please know that although our family is grieving and missing Emmett more than words can say, we are doing well thanks to the peace that comes from above.

Our love to you all,

Brian, Maren, Andrew, Maddie & Luke