Dear Family and Friends,

We wanted to both thank everyone for the tremendous amount of prayer and support that you have provided since Emmett went to heaven as well as let you know how our family is doing.  There is just no easy way to describe the past 10 days other than it is the most painful and heartbreaking experience for any parent to go through.  The ache is so deep that it is crippling but somehow, God provides the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  We are so thankful for our Andrew, Maddie and Luke that already have the ability to smile and laugh amidst their grief.  Grief is a unique emotion - one minute you think you're strong and the next, a glimpse of a memory leaves you on your knees. 

Tomorrow will be a test as Brian and I return to work.  I haven't been at the office much since Emmie was born, doing most of my job from home, so it will be a difficult transition and reminder of life without him.  Our nurse pracititioner has carried our full burden at the office since Emmett's death (thanks Jen!) so Brian will re-engage at full speed ahead - ready or not. 

I have to tell you of God's way of sending someone straight into my path to help me deal with losing Emmett.  We know beyond the shadow of a doubt that Em is in the presence of Jesus and very happy.  But beyond the "streets of gold" and "gates of pearls", I was having a hard time visualizing what my baby was experiencing in heaven.  A trip to the local Christian book store, "Sower" in Coeur d Alene yielded the purchase of a couple of books on Heaven.  At the checkout, the lady (thank you whoever you were) commented on another book that I might find helpful.  Even though they were out of stock of it, she pulled a copy off the Reserve Rack (being held for someone else) and gave it me - no charge.  The book:  Heaven is for Real - A Little Boys Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back.  If you haven't already read it - you need to.  There were a handful of items in the book that we believe spoke directly to us.  Like that the little boy asked the angels to sing "We will, We will Rock You," (they said no) but that was one of Emmett's all time favorite songs.  Or that the only earthly drawing of Jesus that the little boy said was "right" was that of Akiane Kramarik (a young girl who has also seen heaven) - lives just a few miles from us.  We now have a beautiful picture of what our Emmie is doing - singing, playing with our other loved ones who are already in heaven, flying (with his wings), enjoying the vivid colors, trees, and animals that God has designed heaven with.  THE most comforting words of little Colton were his insistent message that, "Jesus REALLY REALLY loves the children."  How can that not be comforting?

Let me tell you, when you lose a child - life on earth looks totally different.  It is now a finite period until you get to be reunited with your child.  Although we would like that to go by very quickly, we know that we must be faithful in continuing to carry out God's plan for our lives.  The biggest message in Emmett's death to us comes from Matthew 18:3, "And He said, 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."   Humility is something we can work on every day of our lives no matter the season.    The longing to see Em's beautiful smile again will be a constant reminder.

We ask for continued prayers for our family as the days ahead will be filled with dark moments and longing to hold Emmett again.  Thank you, one more time, for standing beside us, before us, and behind us in prayer through this journey.

Love,
Maren, Brian, Andrew, Maddie and Luke